Finding a “New Normal”

After all the company is gone, and the house is quiet, that’s when I am confronted with my silent, private thoughts. The missing Angelique is setting in. The mundane suddenly is poignant. I had to put on a load of wash while ago which contained that last of the clothes she wore. Her cell phone rang yesterday. It was her beloved Democratic Party. I had to tell the guy that she passed away. Wow. The cat is wandering the house meowing, looking for her. There is nothing on TV that doesn’t remind me of her.

In 18 years, we rarely went more than a couple of days or nights without being together. In that time, we never went a whole day without talking with each other.

The girls are seeming to start to move around again. Danielle’s good friend just had a baby. I don’t know if the symbolism of that event is something that she grasps or not. The “circle of life” thing. She’s been trying to help their family with the rigors of such a joyous occasion, while mourning mom at the same time.

Bailey, instead of attending classes today, worked out the kinks in her school schedule. She called me this afternoon ecstatic about being on-track to graduate as a junior in May. As an added bonus, she’s going to be able to pursue her first love, basketball, without being in athletics class. Just the sound of her excited voice assured me that she might have gotten the well-needed dose of “life goes on”.

That’s what Angelique wants—for us to carry on. And carry on we will, dammit.

Thanks for caring. Stay tuned.