“Here’s to you, Babe”

At exactly 6:55 pm tonight, I filled a crystal glass with ice, poured in the single malt scotch that George gave me last Friday, and walked down to the pond, and toasted my wife, my best friend, Angelique. It was her favorite spot in this mortal world. The water level is, of course, down. Cracks in the earth are huge. We beseeched her to send down some rain, but what with the trouble she had peeing for the last month, she probably could not conjure up any rain either.

She passed from this earth exactly one week ago. I thought it was befitting to give her such a tribute tonight. As I was raising my crystal glass to the heavens, a big ol’ bass hit something on the surface of the lake and made that “bloomp” sound that she so loved to hear. It was so sad, yet so sublime.

It is hard to fathom that it has been a week. There has been so much to do. It’s unreal how much activity there is when a loved one dies. Many have been here for me, but the bulk of the details has fallen on me. I still feel exhausted. The first few nights I couldn’t sleep, then I’ve tried to catch up the last couple of nights. I’ve slept better, but with sleep, comes dreams. Dreams of her. Dreams that she’s still here. I don’t want to stop seeing her walk and talk, but at the same time, I need the closure that comes from her disappearing from my dreams. Holy shit! I wish Bailey already had that psychology degree…or was it a drama degree? Crap, at this point, what’s the difference?

Our Relay for Life will fall on 9/19, exactly one month after Angelique’s passing. Here’s hoping we remember the kleenex.

Thanks for caring. Stay tuned…